In Memoriam: To You Who Have Lost a Dog Blessed are you who are willing to love the one who is destined to go before you. To you who have lost a companion animal and wonder if you will have the courage to love again: please do. Love again because you must. You must, because so many dogs and cats need you to. It takes courage to love a dog or cat. It takes courage to love, and love you must. We lost our beloved Mindi last month. We lost her through an accident, which was harder for me to live with than other losses. Earlier this winter, Pansy, a beautiful nine-year-old Shepherd mix, died from a betrayal of the body. A vertebra in her back gave way and left her unexpectedly paralyzed. Magic, our oldest fellow, died at the venerable age of 18. He lived much longer than anyone expected, and still he left too soon. Mindi’s accident was harder. It was harder because of that relentless if only. Every tragedy, no matter how random, comes with the pain of an if only. At any moment in time, it is easy to pinpoint the if only: if only I had checked the latch on the gate, or repaired the fence, or locked the door. If only is the privilege and curse of hindsight. We can dwell on the moment that was, but before us is an unlimited equation of possibilities. We can never plan well enough to be safe from that multitude of possibilities. Loving is a risk. Not loving—now that creates a certainty. I pray for my dogs; I pray for all dogs. I don’t pray for them to have long lives. For too many dogs, a long life is not a blessing. I pray for them to find a good home: a home where they will be loved as a member of the family, loved in such a way that grief will accompany their departure. It is a tragedy when a good home has to close its door due to grief. Yes, grieve you must, and I am not trying to rush you, but in honor of a life lost, give another life a chance. Not for you, and not to replace a unique creature who can never be replaced, but in honor of the one who is gone, give another life a chance. A puppy is born into a world that didn’t want her. She waits for a home that she cannot even imagine. We rescued that puppy from cold and neglect, but we can’t give her the attention that she craves. A seasoned family pet sits at the gate and listens for his beloved friend. He grieves for a loss that he cannot comprehend. He waits for someone who will never come. He grieves for someone who isn’t grieving for him. It is easy to pass these dogs by. It is easy because they are out of sight, but no, not really. We who work with them and for them—we know. We know and you know. There are no-kill shelters and there are shelters who want to be no-kill. I have a no-kill shelter, but the dogs around me don’t live in a no-die world. Take a look at petfinder.com. So many dogs; so many are safe now. So many have been rescued and are being given the care, comfort, and help that they need. And, every dog placed makes room for another. Every home found lets us save another life. We have the privilege of saving lives when you join us in our work. Be willing to risk, because risk is the only alternative to an unacceptable certainty. Blessed are you who are willing to love the ones who are destined to go before you.
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